How Can You Tell a Girl Is a Virgin
Jessica, a 23-year-old who lives in Mississippi, was dating a guy recently when the bailiwick of sexual history came upward. "He was explaining to me that he was a virgin, and that he was going to wait until he's married," she said. "And and so he was like, are you a virgin, also?"
Jessica said she immediately felt nervous. She'd had sex before, only because of her religious behavior, had since been abstaining from sex activity. "It was nervus-wracking," she said. "It was hard, considering I was hard on myself, anyhow. Sometimes information technology feels like information technology's ok for guys to do whatever, only if a girl says, no I'one thousand non a virgin, we're looked at with more than shame."
That internalized shame is something that a lot of young women unfortunately experience — regardless of religious background. And Jessica's right that men and women are treated differently when it comes to sexual history. If it'south not extremely visible in popular culture, countless studies document a sexual double standard. Heterosexual men are generally rewarded for having a college number of sexual partners, while women are stigmatized for the same thing.
And so it makes a lot of sense that women are concerned, like Jessica was, near having to tell a new sexual partner whether or not they've had sex before. Information technology's difficult to know exactly how many women feel anxious most this, just the commencement few autofill results on both Google and Yahoo! Answers signal that concern nigh revealing sexual history is common.
And of form it is, considering combined with the pervasive double standard that says guys will only like y'all if you're a pure, virginal affections who's never had sex activity before is the myth that whether or not you bleed after sex will give your sexual history away.
To ease any of those concerns: It'southward largely untrue that every woman bleeds after first-time sex. That middle school rumor comes from a misunderstanding of the hymen, or a thin piece of tissue located most centimeters inside the vaginal opening. If you've ever heard the phrase "blood-red popped" (a phrase that absolutely needs to be murdered and never resurrected, by the style), information technology'southward a slang term for the hymen "breaking" after first-time penetrative sex activity. But equally this website has explained before, the hymen never actually "breaks." It stretches, and for about half of all women, this happens during some other, non-sexual activeness (like jumping on a trampoline or riding a wheel), often in childhood.
Technically, yes, some women experience lite to moderate bleeding later having sex for the first fourth dimension. Merely haemorrhage tin can likewise occur the 100th fourth dimension a adult female has had sexual activity, caused past things like footling tears on the vaginal wall, menstrual spotting, and a few other things like polyps in the vagina.
Regardless of the nuances of your sexual anatomy and the nitty gritty details almost your hymen, a sexual partner should never brand you feel bad for whatsoever function of your sexual history. Whether that means they expect you to exist a virgin and you aren't, or if yous've never had sex earlier and they have. It'due south smart to talk over history with a new partner if you have a history of STIs, specially canker, HPV, or another STI that isn't totally curable.
Ultimately, Jessica told the guy she was dating near her own history because she didn't desire to prevarication. And if he'd reacted poorly (he didn't), she wouldn't regret being honest. "You have to accept me for who I am, past and all," she said.
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Source: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/q-and-a/a276/guy-tell-if-virgin/
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